The Globe’s stars and dogs for the week

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Bitcoin (DOG)

Alternatives to investing in bitcoin: 1) Withdrawing $5,000 in cash from your bank and throwing it off the CN Tower; 2) Wiring money to the “lawyer for the late Crown Prince of Morocco” to claim your inheritance; 3) Scratch and win tickets! With Tesla reversing its decision to accept bitcoin as payment for its vehicles, China prohibiting banks from offering cryptocurrency services and the U.S. taking steps to clamp down on tax avoidance with digital money, bitcoin plunged to within a hair of US$30,000 this week – down from a record high of US$64,829 in mid-April – before rebounding. Nobody saw this coming at all.

Target (STAR)

TGT – NYSE

Shopping in a store? Without a mask? It sounds so 2019, but in-person shopping is already happening all over the United States and will almost certainly be coming to Canada soon. Shares of Target Corp. rose after the U.S. discount retailer posted first-quarter revenue and earnings well above expectations and said it expects sales growth to continue for the rest of the year. “With vaccinations rolling out across the country and consumers increasingly comfortable venturing out, we’ve seen an enthusiastic return to in-store shopping,” chief executive Brian Cornell said. So, no more mask fights on YouTube? Darn.

Shopify (STAR)

SHOP – TSX

Ever been surfing online and said to yourself, “The internet is okay, but it would be so much better if there were more companies trying to sell me junk I don’t need”? Well, good news: Google announced a partnership with Shopify Inc. that will enable the Canadian e-commerce software company’s 1.7 million online merchants “to become discoverable to high-intent consumers across Google Search, Shopping, YouTube, Google Images and more,” according to Bill Ready, head of commerce and payments at Google. Might be a good time to upgrade your ad blocker.

Lightspeed POS (STAR)

LSPD – TSX

According to the company’s website, “Lightspeed is more than a POS.” Well, uh, investors wholeheartedly agree: Shares of the company – which provides point-of-sale and e-commerce software to retailers, restaurants and golf courses – rose after revenue more than doubled to US$82.4-million for the quarter ended March 31, driven by acquisitions and organic growth. Even as Lightspeed POS Inc.’s loss widened to US$42-million, CEO Dax Dasilva said March was “a very strong month” as lockdowns eased in some regions. Who you callin’ a POS?

Hormel Foods (STAR)

HRL – NYSE

“Spam, spam, spam, spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!” Shares of Hormel Foods Corp. – the company that makes Monty Python’s favourite luncheon meat and dozens of other foods, from Skippy peanut butter to Stagg chili – were looking wonderful indeed after second-quarter sales rose 8 per cent to a record US$2.6-billion, topping expectations. With earnings also beating estimates – thanks to…